My Crazy Morning – I Can’t Make This Stuff Up

I cannot help but sit here and laugh. If somebody wrote a book about my life it would be a best seller because I seriously couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

Woke up this morning and got the kids off to school. I had straightened up and tidied up the house the night before, so decided to crawl back in bed to snuggle with hubby and the pooch for a few minutes before I got up and my day started. Well naturally, I promptly fall back to sleep, hubby gets up and leaves me and the pooch to our dreams, and neither one of us wakes up till about 11:30 a.m.!

So I jump out the bed in a panic (I had to get across town to Jonathan’s doctor office and back to our side of town before Tre got off the bus from school). I jumped on the computer quick and did a flash review of the incoming emails – see a few things that I need to handle but so far so good. I tell myself it is okay, breathe, today’s plan is still doable.

In the middle of brushing my teeth and putting on my face, hubby calls and says, “Angela needs you quick – and you need to bring three hand towels and three wash clothes with you.” I am speechless for a moment before I can blurt out, “I don’t have any clean wash clothes – for what?” Then it dawns on me – today, Wednesday – Beauty Control facial at the leasing office! Agh!!! So I finish putting on my face and rush over to the leasing office and tell her I’m so sorry, I overslept, can’t stay, need to do this and that. Ashley and Angela were fine with that and Angela asks if I can stop by the post office for her and mail off two packages. Fine with that, it’s on my way.

So I grab everything, rush out the door and head to the post office. Stand in line and wait (what else is new?) and by the time I get up there and tell the counter person I need tape for the box, I’m in a tizzy because I’ve been waiting for about 15 minutes. He looks at me and tells me, sorry, we can’t give you tape. That’s not a priority mail box label so you have to buy regular packing tape to close the box. Fine what the hell ever. Give him the manilla envelope to mail (which we think won’t cost but about $2.00 to mail) and he tells me $6.80. Apparently it was over the first class mail weight limits. Agh!!! So I snatch everything back and fly out the door and back to the leasing office.

Explain – rather breathlessly (because it is now 1:30 p.m. and I only have an hour to get my errands run and back home) – to Angela what happened. So she tosses the credit card at me and says, “Pay the little fucker” (I love that woman) and tells me to pick up a big bag of dog food and cat food when I get the tape and to grab something for myself.

Dash back out the door and race to the trusty Dollar General. Tape? Check. Dog Food? Check. Cat Food? Check. Pepsi? Check! Out to the car, tape up the box (after I had to futz with the silly tape dispenser and figure out how to work the dang blasted thing) and head back to the post office. Apologize to the little fucker behind the counter, because I was snotty to him earlier – it wasn’t his fault we didn’t know better. He thanks me, appreciates it, said he feels bad having to tell customers that he can’t do this or that, rules are rules … yeah dude, just give me my receipt and shut the hell up already.

Out the door and on the highway – here we go. Finally getting somewhere. Get across town to the doctor’s office, pick up the prescription and hop back in the car to head home. Could not get over to get off on my exit to head back home, so I go to the next exit and take the Chippenham Parkway to Powhite Parkway exit. That will get me where I need to go.

Well I don’t know what in the hell I did – but I damn sure did NOT find the Powhite Parkway from that exit. I did, however, take a nice scenic drive past Stoney Park Fashion Center and then down ALL of North Parham Road and past Regency Square Mall until I finally found a familiar sign – 95 South.

Something that should have taken me 45 minutes – round trip – to carry out ended up taking me almost 2 hours. Hubby calls while I am on Parham Road wondering where the hell the exit for 95 South is and wants to know where I am and how soon I’ll be home.

I lied and told him I had just gotten off 95 and was on my way home now. While I chain-smoked for 30 minutes straight afterwards.