For many years I have pondered religion. Who has it right? Who is completely clueless? I’ve had the chance to attend churches of different faiths, speak to those who are completely immersed in religion and to those who could care less about religion.
With the passing of my father last year, the recovery of my sister, and the challenges that my son faces with ADHD (and I with parenting him) – all of these things were leading me up to this particular path that God has chosen for me.
After what happened yesterday, a very heartfelt, touching conversation I had today with Betty, and thinking about everything that I have been through in my life, all the ups and downs, the joys and accomplishments, I realized that there was still more for me to learn, to experience, and for me to grow.
Over the course of the next few weeks and months, you will be seeing a change here at Life in a House of Testosterone. A subtle one, but one that will reflect the new path that I feel I am being led to travel.
In order for them to change, I must be the one to change first.
My one main goal in life has always been to be the best mother I can be to my children. I do not always hold myself to the standards I have set for myself; which is probably what causes me to feel like a complete failure some days. I curse around my kids, I lose my patience with them daily … yet I’ve realized that in order for them to change, I must be the one to change FIRST.
I cannot expect them to not use foul language if that’s all they hear at home. I cannot expect them to show love, tolerance, and respect for others – when I cannot count to ten and speak in a more gentle, loving manner to them and get my point across without screaming and yelling.
I envy those women who have walked this walk, and realized everything at a much younger age. I am on this path for a reason though, to find God’s grace in my life each day, to find at least three things to be thankful for, and to show love and compassion and God’s grace to others through my thoughts, my actions … and my words.
I am anxious to begin. I feel as though there are an abundance of good things waiting for us just around the corner.
